The Self and the Other: 3 readings, 9/18/12

Thoughts on Narcissus

•    With what or whom does Narcissus fall in love? 

 - Narcissus "fell in love with an insubstantial hope, mistaking a shadow for a real body," (pg. 85). He is drawn to an aesthetically pleasing image that appeals to his deepest desires. This image represents who he hopes to be, and who he desires to love. It speaks to his ideal self and his ideal other. After all, love is inherently ideal; when you are "in love" with someone, you have a dreamy, romantic image of this person. I think this myth depicts something very real about love; that we really do not have control over who we love, and when we do fall in love it is often with an illusion. When Narcissus first sees his reflection, he "did not know what he was looking at, but was fired by the sight, and excited by the very illusion that deceived his eyes," (pg. 85). When a person first falls in love, and is asked what it is about that person that they fell in love with, the response is usually "oh, I just knew, it's hard to explain." The best explanation I can think of is "I saw him/her and found myself desiring what I think I saw in that person." Narcissus was completely entranced by what he saw, and became overwhelmed by the feelings that vision provoked within him. All he is concerned with in this moment is those feelings. At this stage, I think love is a creation of the self, and the desire of the self. This myth is concerned with those initial feelings, and how closely they are related to our innermost wants, our innermost lacks in life.

Thoughts on Lacan

• Takeaways from the reading:

- Once I got past the dense language of this article, I could see a parallel with Narcissus. Lacan discusses dreams in this article, saying that the "fragmented body" is "regularly manifested in dreams." This "fantasmatic anatomy" that appears in dreams is a reflection of the self, and I compared this to Narcissus seeing his reflection and falling in love with all it represented and the desire he felt for the feelings he experienced.  The self that we see in our dreams and while we are conscious is an image generated by our brain, a reflection of our identity. This reflection is somewhat fantasmatic; sometimes you see what you want to see. Lacan also discusses "primary narcissism", which I find to be an interesting term. The qualities we see in ourselves, the most flattering and desirable qualities, we would desire in an "other." Those we grow to love and develop strong relationships with share some of our qualities, which help the self relate to the other. I am not saying that we automatically desire someone who is exactly like us, and matches the reflection, the conscious "self", but that we seek someone who shares a quality or two with us. The ego influences everything we do, in a way, from how we dress to how we interact with others. There is a certain narcissistic trait within a person, a certain awareness of who we are, how proud we are of the "self", and how the narcissism influences our relations with others.

Thoughts on "Song of Songs"

• Depiction of relationship between lover and beloved, imagery and words used:

- The "Song of Songs" depicts the relationship between lover and beloved as erotic and luxurious. In the first poem, the She refers to her beloved as "a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts," which is quite erotic. The She is often referred to as a dove, and the He a gazelle, which establishes a weak/strong gender dynamic- the female as the prey and the male as the hunter. Also, the He describes his lover's lips by saying that they "drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride, milk and honey are under your tongue." Milk refers to the breasts, and honey is sweet, so she is both motherly and sexual, but also innocent and sweet at the same time. One particularly erotic line I found is the 16th in the 4th song- "Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits." The "garden", or the She's body, is referred to as the He's property, "his" garden- the beloved belongs to the lover. Then, the She goes on to compare her lover to many fancy, rich things- gold, ivory, marble, jewels, etc. Their love is as sweet as honey but as erotic and lush as wine, and as natural as milk. The poem goes on to depict love as "strong as death", like a "mighty flame." From the imagery and words used, it is apparent that the "love" these two share is sexual, rich, and "natural" like flames and rivers.