The Ugly Side of Desire - Zizek and de Ventadorn

What are the ways in which the poetry and essay bring up themes we spoke about last week (problems of desire, imagery, alienation, etc.). What new ideas do you see here that further complicate or elucidate issues involving love and/or desire? Use specific quotes from the poetry and the essay to support your comments.

Thoughts on Zizek:

- The Zizek article definitely connects with the discussions we have had thus far about love and desire. It also connects strongly to the film we watched this week. When you desire someone, that person is immediately dehumanized and seen as an abstract ideal, something so great that it is entirely out of your reach. The quote in the beginning referring to the poetic depiction of this "abstract ideal" is entirely true- it does appear that all poets are addressing the same person, because they are not even speaking of an actual person, but this ideal. In "The Obscure Object of Desire", Conchina represents the courted Lady Zizek speaks of, the cold, distant, and ultimately inhuman partner. She "functions as an inhuman partner in the sense of a radical Otherness which is wholly incommensurable with our needs and desires." Conchina can never satisfy Mathieu's desires because she is the unreachable Other. The relationship, or lack thereof, that Conchina and Mathieu have represents the chaser-and-chased relationship- most of the time, you really don't know who you are desiring. Behind the inhuman Other lies an emotional human, someone that a "relationship of empathy" is possible with, but takes time to reveal itself. Zizek continues to talk about the "abstract Ideal" of the desired, saying that "it is a narcissistic projection whose function is to render her traumatic dimension invisible." If we were to truly feel the trauma of this idealization we wouldn't desire any longer, and to desire is to live. This is depicted brilliantly in Narcissus; once Narcissus realized the trauma of his desire he literally could no longer live. Our perception of our desire is an illusion, a narcissistic measure to protect ourselves. Our belief about the image we see in the mirror serves the same function- it is a coping mechanism. The object of desire reflects the narcissistic ideal. Bunuel, the director of "The Obscure Object of Desire", was fully aware of the function of desire in his film; he says his films always speak of "the non-explainable impossibility of the fulfillment of a simple desire." Also, it always seems as if we control our desire and believe that once the desire is somewhat fulfilled, that the relationship will get better. Only afterwards do we realize the true trauma of the desire we had- the desire leaves behind an empty void if there was no relationship to begin with. A relationship began by pure, physical desire leaves behind pure devastation and trauma, because the idealized other was not so ideal and you never really knew that person at all. It is always a bad moment when you see how blind you were to desire's true nature.

Thoughts on de Ventadorn

- The poetry reminded me of what Zizek was saying in the beginning of his essay about how all poets are writing about the same person, the "abstract Ideal." de Ventadorn is certainly speaking about this abstract Ideal, adding the proper amount of drama to the ordeal of desire. The line "a man is really dead when he does not feel some sweet taste of love in his heart" brings to mind my point about Zizek's essay- when you do not desire someone or something you are as good as dead. de Ventadorn depicts someone who is hopeless in love and tortured by it. Love hurts because it can never be fully yours, just like desire cannot be entirely fulfilled. However, this pain is seen as "beautiful", a pain that has equal parts pleasure which makes it worthwhile. Although we know we are driven mad by our desire, we don't stop, we can't stop, and we have to somehow justify this to ourselves. I found it ironic how de Ventadorn mentions "the love of a courtly man", because Zizek is constantly referring to the courtly lady in his essay. This poem and the essay speak to each other. Poetry always represents the one who desires in his/her finest, most elegant form, whether this person is suffering or swimming merrily in their desire. de Ventadorn's narrator desires so deeply that he is willing to die to fulfill his desire- but is that really his choice? No one knows.

The Ugly Side of Desire - "The Obscure Object of Desire"

Comments on "The Obscure Object of Desire"

- Mathieu is a man who is tortured by desire; his"obscure object of desire", Conchita, is playing the part perfectly. She gives him a little hope, and then takes it all away, devastating him. All the audience knows of Mathieu is his desire. Mathieu is desire. Mathieu is always chasing Conchita, who is always disappearing. She is not depicted as a person, but as a magic trick, a staple disappearing act in a magician's disposal. When Mathieu asks Conchita why she disappears, she tells him there is nothing to explain. There is no reason because there is really no Conchita, just this obscure object of desire, this trick. When Mathieu tires of chasing Conchita and just wants her already, Conchita does not identify with him because she cannot- her character does not have humanity. This becomes even clearer when they are in bed and the canvas shorts are revealed- when he does have the chance to fulfill his desires he is physically prevented from doing so. She may appear human in this scene but she is less human than ever because she cannot be physically sexual, she cannot be anything but the object of desire. She cannot "make love to him" because she cannot feel. Mathieu is human, she is not. This is how this film relates to Narcissus and the Mirror concept- Mathieu thinks he is in love and desires a real human being but he doesn't, just like we think we're seeing the real thing when we look in the mirror and we are really seeing an illusion, an image of ourselves.

Some quotes I found interesting:

"You tried to buy me like a piece of furniture" - Conchita.
- Conchita is an object in this film, the object of Mathieu's desire, so just like a nice car or an iPod, Mathieu thought money would gift him some certainty, fulfill his desire, but the whole point of this film is that this desire is never fulfilled, and Mathieu can never be satisfied. He must always want, always desire- something that is very human.

"If I gave you what you want, you'd stop loving me" - Conchita
- This quote really stuck out to me because this happens all the time when a relationship is in its initial stage. If the ultimate desire, usually sex, is fulfilled early on, all that desire for the relationship seems to disappear because there is no relationship at that point.. When Conchita says this in the film, Mathieu thinks he loves her because he desires her, not for who she is. He doesn't know her as a person, so the illusion of love would be shattered once he got fulfilled his desire for her sexually and came to see her past the illusion.

The Animal Imagery

- The mouse and the fly imagery perfectly represents Mathieu and Conchita. Mathieu, the mouse, is constantly chasing after Conchita, the fly. Flies are notoriously hard to capture, and the mouse is an animal known for always being in pursuit of something. The scene in which the fly is in the glass and the waiter says, "A fly! I've been chasing this one for days." directly points out the metaphor and its purpose. When Mathieu sees Conchita, he is mesmerized by her presence and does not actually believe in it. He is in shock when he sees her, which disables his ability to know Conchita as a person. All he can do is see her in this hazy hue, like she is underwater (which makes the fly in the glass even more fitting). This perpetual state of shock is further proved when Mathieu says "I'd stay with her, without so much as moving, as long as I could." When you desire someone, you want them to be around constantly because that person is so unknown and their presence in your life so fleeting. You need that person to be physically present to give you hope.

The Self and the Other: 3 readings, 9/18/12

Thoughts on Narcissus

•    With what or whom does Narcissus fall in love? 

 - Narcissus "fell in love with an insubstantial hope, mistaking a shadow for a real body," (pg. 85). He is drawn to an aesthetically pleasing image that appeals to his deepest desires. This image represents who he hopes to be, and who he desires to love. It speaks to his ideal self and his ideal other. After all, love is inherently ideal; when you are "in love" with someone, you have a dreamy, romantic image of this person. I think this myth depicts something very real about love; that we really do not have control over who we love, and when we do fall in love it is often with an illusion. When Narcissus first sees his reflection, he "did not know what he was looking at, but was fired by the sight, and excited by the very illusion that deceived his eyes," (pg. 85). When a person first falls in love, and is asked what it is about that person that they fell in love with, the response is usually "oh, I just knew, it's hard to explain." The best explanation I can think of is "I saw him/her and found myself desiring what I think I saw in that person." Narcissus was completely entranced by what he saw, and became overwhelmed by the feelings that vision provoked within him. All he is concerned with in this moment is those feelings. At this stage, I think love is a creation of the self, and the desire of the self. This myth is concerned with those initial feelings, and how closely they are related to our innermost wants, our innermost lacks in life.

Thoughts on Lacan

• Takeaways from the reading:

- Once I got past the dense language of this article, I could see a parallel with Narcissus. Lacan discusses dreams in this article, saying that the "fragmented body" is "regularly manifested in dreams." This "fantasmatic anatomy" that appears in dreams is a reflection of the self, and I compared this to Narcissus seeing his reflection and falling in love with all it represented and the desire he felt for the feelings he experienced.  The self that we see in our dreams and while we are conscious is an image generated by our brain, a reflection of our identity. This reflection is somewhat fantasmatic; sometimes you see what you want to see. Lacan also discusses "primary narcissism", which I find to be an interesting term. The qualities we see in ourselves, the most flattering and desirable qualities, we would desire in an "other." Those we grow to love and develop strong relationships with share some of our qualities, which help the self relate to the other. I am not saying that we automatically desire someone who is exactly like us, and matches the reflection, the conscious "self", but that we seek someone who shares a quality or two with us. The ego influences everything we do, in a way, from how we dress to how we interact with others. There is a certain narcissistic trait within a person, a certain awareness of who we are, how proud we are of the "self", and how the narcissism influences our relations with others.

Thoughts on "Song of Songs"

• Depiction of relationship between lover and beloved, imagery and words used:

- The "Song of Songs" depicts the relationship between lover and beloved as erotic and luxurious. In the first poem, the She refers to her beloved as "a sachet of myrrh resting between my breasts," which is quite erotic. The She is often referred to as a dove, and the He a gazelle, which establishes a weak/strong gender dynamic- the female as the prey and the male as the hunter. Also, the He describes his lover's lips by saying that they "drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride, milk and honey are under your tongue." Milk refers to the breasts, and honey is sweet, so she is both motherly and sexual, but also innocent and sweet at the same time. One particularly erotic line I found is the 16th in the 4th song- "Blow on my garden, that its fragrance may spread everywhere. Let my beloved come into his garden and taste its choice fruits." The "garden", or the She's body, is referred to as the He's property, "his" garden- the beloved belongs to the lover. Then, the She goes on to compare her lover to many fancy, rich things- gold, ivory, marble, jewels, etc. Their love is as sweet as honey but as erotic and lush as wine, and as natural as milk. The poem goes on to depict love as "strong as death", like a "mighty flame." From the imagery and words used, it is apparent that the "love" these two share is sexual, rich, and "natural" like flames and rivers.